Looking for some advice about whether on not to go the May December route?
rongayle December 4th, 2008
Look no further. Here’s our advice on giving advice!
(Posted by Gayle)
A question from one of our readers came in today. He’s 45 - she’s 21. They’ve been seeing each other about 6 months.
…I think that we both worry that there is some issue we are missing. He says that I’d probably meet some 25 year old stud and go through the thrills of discovery in my twenties and thirties with them, and that he’s practically in his late 40’s. I suppose he feels like he’s taking something from me. While I don’t have the knowledge that he does I feel like I could potentially be taking something from him that he could get from someone his own age. Yet, when we are together all we feel is love. I know it’s still early in the relationship, but we can both feel the real potential for long term commitment. Yet, it is getting curbed by our age difference. Continue Reading »
He’s Definitely Not From Chicago… is He?
rongayle December 3rd, 2008
Nope, but he is a December in the making (and not just because he was born in December!)
In the Beginning:
(Posted by Ron)
On a December morning in 1942 I was born in the little town of Kenova, WV. I remember living in only two houses during my 18 years at home. There was a third home, but we left that when I was about 3 years old. It’s worth mentioning here that another little boy was born the same day, in Chicago, IL. His name was Nelson Paul Luster and he was destined to live only three days. His sister would be born 15 years later and comes into my story many years down the road.
Life was easy for me as I grew up. I didn’t have a lot of restrictions. They weren’t really necessary because life was a great deal safer for a child then than it is today. Within a few blocks of my home we had hills to climb, caves to “explore” and creeks in which to play. It wasn’t much farther to the town’s swimming pool and the two rivers that bordered the town. It was an exciting place for a little boy. Continue Reading »
How do you make a May and a December?
rongayle December 2nd, 2008
First you start with sex.
(Posted by Ron & Gayle)
Lest you get the wrong idea, we’re talking about the conceptual kind of sex as in our parents procreated and made us kind of sex. What’s interesting (another visit from Sarah N. Dipity) in our case is that both sets of our parents were procreating at roughly that same time. Our mother’s gave birth to baby boys on the 10th of December in 1942. Sadly, Gayle’s parents lost their child three days later. This strange coincidence is part of our story and seems to have woven us together long before we ever laid eyes on each other. Such is often the story with May December loves. The inexplicable hand of fate can be found moving mountains behind the scene to bring the lovers together.
In the weeks to come, we’ll be sharing our “back stories” with you. Subscribe to our RSS feed and newsletter now you will come to learn what mountains lady fate had to move to bring us together.
May December News: Can potent older men extend the lifespan of our species?
rongayle December 2nd, 2008
Indeed - certain age gap relationships may keep the grim reaper away a little longer!
(posted by Ron)
In an August 2007 article in LiveScience.com Jeanna Bryner hypothesizes that “May/December Couples Boost Human Lifespan.” That’s quite an interesting idea, particularly considering that it makes some evolutionary sense.
Ms. Brynner cites several sources to support her hypothesis, all of which seem to point in the same direction. Although females tend to lose their reproductive capacity in their fifties men do not. On the average men are fertile until at least their seventies and some even into their nineties. She states that, at the time of her article, “90-year-old Nanu Ram Jogi from India reportedly became the world’s oldest father when he announced his 21st child…” Read the entire article here.
Ron’s Commentary
Robert Heinlein is one of my favorite authors. In 1941 he introduced science fiction fans to the Howard Family. A wealthy man named Howard encouraged certain individuals to marry because they had living grandparents who were quite old. His foundation then paid significant amounts for each child they delivered. Needless to say there are some large families in the series.
Our species has been interested in extending our lifespan since we ran away from the first dinosaur. Ira Howard may have a good idea but, until now I haven’t seen any non-science fiction studies. Now, age gap couples are putting their oar into the genetic pool (so to speak.)
In the article noted above, we see that older men/younger women pairings often result in children. Some quite famous examples are noted. It hypothesizes that potent older men tend to pass on the gene for longevity to their children. That’s only slightly more scientific than Ira Howard’s ideas but who’s to say they both don’t have something good there.
So, go for it age gap couples! Let’s see how much you can boost our lifespan! Wouldn’t it be ironic we if ended up being fountains of youth?!
- Aging , News , Ron's Posts
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What do May and December do in November?
rongayle November 30th, 2008
Eat, Drink, Take Pictures, and Decorate!
(Posted by Gayle)
The Lambert Jr.’s have been here most of the week. We’ve had so much fun. The Thanksgiving spread was yummy. When the kids weren’t keeping us running, the new Wii was a belly laughing blast. I dare anyone to cross my path. I’ve discovered I’m a wicked boxer! The tree is up and the Christmas lights are lit.
We spent an afternoon at the Arboretum having family pics clicked. Just wanted to share a few shots. Click on any of them to see a larger image (click a second time to super size them.)
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- "Gigi getting down at Emme's level."
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- "Gayle & Emme are 50 years apart in age almost exactly. If Emme takes after Gigi - watch out!"
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- "Ron (Pop) and Ian"
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- "Ian doing what he does best - running!
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- "We don't get much fall color here in Texas, but the Arboretum is an exception the the rule."
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- "Our House with the Christmas Lights Up"
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- "Gayle's Thanksgiving Pie Collection!"
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- "Thank goodness for Nancy who helped us get the tree up!"
What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories. ~George Eliot
Do You Ever Get Too Old to Box?
rongayle November 29th, 2008
Not if your wife is your “opponent.”
(Posted by Ron)
Is it fun to hit each other in the face? It is if you are doing it via a WII (No, not W. W. II. That’s wee, as in Nintendo). We actually need another controller before we can “fight” each other, but weeee will Wii! This holiday we have bowled, played tennis, guitar and golf, all without leaving the living room.
My daughter commented on one of Gayle’s posts and part of her comment said that being married to Gayle has kept me young. In a way she’s right. Gayle and I do lots of things that my older relatives would have never considered. After all, at my age I should be “enjoying” retirement, whatever that means, not playing video games.
Since we’ve begun this website and the book on May December relationships I have learned a great deal about the truths and misconceptions surrounding age-gap couples. Many of these lessons are described elsewhere in our website. Many are yet to be written about.
The main lesson that I learn over and over is that relationships are seldom about age. They are about the love, compatibility and adaptability of the partners. Do you know many (almost) 66 year old men who are learning to play a Nintendo Wii? It appeared in the house as a 22nd anniversary present to us. I never considered that I would still enjoy competitive video games, but I do.
So what’s this May December Secret?
Aging is often a state of mind.
Think about that if you are considering an age gap relationship. The love, of course, is ageless. But how about energy levels? Interests? Sense of adventure? They are certainly important, regardless of your ages.
I believe successful May December relationships also provide something much different that what we are told. Most of the research wants us to believe they are about men and women looking for father or mother figures or having mid-life crises. That’s often true, but in my humble opinion they also provide the yin to our yang. I’ve learned to love museums and hiking, and feeling younger than my years is the norm.
So I may have to wrap my knee before I start, but I’ve found a very good source of the exercise I need. Playing an hour of tennis in the living room with Gayle is hard work. I even have to get off the couch. Our age differences once again are not an issue. Beating her at tennis is, though. And I will again, I think. If I don’t I’ll get that other controller and we’ll see who’s the best boxer!
Turducken? Don’t think so. But We Are Thankful.
rongayle November 27th, 2008
At least we don’t have to kill our Thanksgiving dinner.
(Posted by Ron)
My son and his family just arrived to spend Thanksgiving with us this weekend. They drove in from Kansas just for the holiday. It’s a lot different than my memories but I know we are creating our own memories. Traditions are not dependent on how Gayle and I spent our holidays. Yes, our traditions somehow get folded into Thanksgiving but the new ones work, too.
When I was growing up there were times when we went to my grandparents for Thanksgiving. Not often, but enough that I remember it. The men got up early and went hunting. Breakfast would then include the squirrels that were killed that morning. I know, some of you are cringing, but don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. It’s hard to beat squirrel gravy and freshly baked biscuits for breakfast.
Mostly, however, I remember all of my sisters and my brother showing up at mom and dad’s house for Thanksgiving. We had a great time with all of the siblings and cousins seeing each other again and we always ended Thanksgiving day full of turkey and dressing and pie and… Our food all came from the local grocer except for what dad had grown during the summer. We didn’t have to kill anything.
The women in the family went to the kitchen and began cleaning up after dinner. There was no dishwasher so cleaning up required a lot of soap, elbow grease, and catching up on what had happened in the family in the last year.
The men would take their coffee and smokes (yes, we still did) out to the front porch We would also catch up on the past year but it would be more about jobs and fishing and “manly” stuff. We would never get caught doing the dishes after dinner.
Thanksgiving with my grandparents was the way it was done in the 1940’s and 50’s. Thanksgiving at my parents’ house was the way it was done in the 1950’s and 60’s. Neither was unusual for the time. I’m sure there are still many places in this huge country of ours where one or both of those patterns still exist.
My kids were raised with as many of the family around the Thanksgiving dinner table as possible. As they grew older the patterns changed. We moved. Family members passed away. The world around us became faster and less connected. But the family still remains as the basis for the Thanksgiving celebration.
So here we are at Thanksgiving, 2008. Ron and Wendy and Ian and Emme just arrived from their home in Kansas. Tomorrow they and a few friends will join us for a meal that Gayle has literally worked on for at least a couple of weeks. We don’t have to kill anything - Kroger’s handled that for us. We just get to enjoy the time together.
When I was a child I never remember friends being part of our Thanksgiving. I love this new part or our tradition. I wish that all of our kids and grandkids could be with us but know they are having Thanksgiving with friends and family. The world is so different now. We are often so far apart.
We don’t eat together, but we call each other. The men clear tables and put dishes into the dishwasher (or wash if necessary). We all visit together. We have new traditions, but they still keep families together. The families are even different. Gayle and I are parent and step-parent. The kids accepted this new family structure years ago. The grandkids know us as Pop and Gigi and that is normal for them. It may be a smaller, differently structured group but it’s no less traditional.
So, however you are doing it and with whom, have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Got room for a little more food?
rongayle November 27th, 2008
For thought that is.
(Posted by Gayle)
Is it just a day for yearly giving thanks or will it become a year of daily thanks giving? You decide….
Happy Thanksgiving….
May December News: Why do women want to marry older men?
rongayle November 25th, 2008
Maybe they’re nutty; it is after all, fruitcake time again.
(Posted by Gayle)
Nuptial Economics: Why women want to marry older men.
22 Nov 2008, 1613 hrs IST, Rucha Biju Chitrodia, TNN
The Economic Times…Agreed, there may be different reasons for different women to choose an older man. But the advantages are there for all to see; an older man is expected to be more experienced, mature, resilient, have a more rounded personality, less likely to stray and, of course, is definitely a lot more bankable than a young guy just starting out in life. He would make a good provider for his woman and children…. Read entire article here.
Gayle’s Commentary
This article discusses the impact time and equality are having on the Indian custom of men marrying women who are significantly younger. It seems that as time goes on this custom is disappearing and marriages of “equals” are becoming more and more common. Yet with the development of parity in relationships a new freedom of choice is emerging in Indian women. No longer, being “required” to fulfill a societal custom and marry an older man is also freeing women to fall in love with men who are significantly their senior.
A 25-year-old media person, settled in Australia and married to a man 11 years her senior, reveals via e-mail: “Ours is not a classic case these days. However, with him, I’ve found a way to look deep inside a man’s soul and find a spiritual partner…. We vibe on a different level, one which has nothing to do with age at all.’’
My sentiments exactly! While arranged marriages have not had the same place in the US as in many other countries, they were common place in pioneer times for the same reasons discussed in the reviewed article. When the requirement is lifted, it’s natural to see a drift away from the prior demands.
I’m in my marriage for love and compatibility - not because it’s cool and not because society tells me I must be married to an older man. I am a proponent of healthy choices. Partnering with someone whose age is significantly different than yours is a choice. That’s all it is - that’s all I ever hope it will be - just a choice.
If it’s a choice you are considering, you are in the right place. Subscribe to our RSS feed and newsletter and keep on reading - there’s more good stuff coming!
Fifteen Years aren’t all that many… are they?
rongayle November 24th, 2008
No, but 66 are quite a few!
(Posted by Ron)
- Yesterday was our 22nd anniversary. Gayle was sick with the stomach virus I had last week and spent almost the entire day in bed.
- We’ve started early on Christmas decorating. Some years can be quite a production in the Lambert/Luster household. This may be one of those. Family starts arriving on Wednesday.
- Nancy came over yesterday to help decorate. We spent a couple of hours repairing the wiring on the new last year, pre-lit, going to save a lot of time each year, expensive Christmas tree. Nancy did a beautiful job, by the way.
- I was going to help with decorating but got too deeply into cleaning the garage which had become so cluttered it was dangerous to walk through. Why the garage? It’s where the decorations are stored. I had to find them.
- Oh, I found the laundry out there, too. I’ve worked on it all weekend.
- Did I mention that I had my sweet little almost 17 year old Cocker/Chow mix put to sleep this weekend?
- Somehow I remembered to go to “Babys-R-Us” today for the “dog” gates we needed to protect the kitchen from marauding babies.
- It’s 10:30 on Sunday night and Gayle just asked if I had written a post for tomorrow. I didn’t say what immediately came to mind. Instead I just said no. After all, I’m very, very tired.
In less than three weeks I will celebrate my 66th birthday. Gayle, as you know, is a youngster with 15 fewer years on the clock than me. Otherwise, why would we be writing these posts? 22 years ago I would have been almost as tired after a weekend such as this. The thought of “writing a post” would have been just as unappetizing then as tonight.
Then I realized I do have a post. A post about being too tired to write a post. In the past few years I’ve begun to ponder my aging. Tonight was one of those times. I’m almost 66! I’m tired! How can you ask me to think about writing? Then it hit me. I could change those numbers to 44 and the words would still be much the same.
I don’t “remember” the passage of those 22 years. I don’t “remember” getting to 66. Most of the time those numbers don’t bother me and this is one of those times! They really are just numbers.
I have a feeling this post is going to be used against me when I want to be 66 again.
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