Well, neither did I until Sunday night

(Posted by Ron)

I grew up in a relatively conservative area of the country.  Although I was in a couple of plays in elementary and high school, I had a real problem with attracting too much attention to myself.  I was never one to really dress up for Halloween and don’t remember ever attending a costume party until after Gayle and I were married.  Besides, life is very serious and I made it my goal to maintain that seriousness throughout my life.

Marrying Gayle changed that.  The first time I remember wearing makeup was when we painted our faces like Mardi Gras masks and attended a high school football game to watch my youngest daughter perform in the flag corps.  It was Halloween, but it was still a huge stretch for me.  It was even worse for my daughter.  You should have seen her face when she saw us!  By the end of the night all three of were sporting painted faces.

For many of the past ten years we have had Oscar parties.  One of the rules of attendance is that you have to come as one of the characters in a nominated movie.  This year I chose to attend as the Joker from the Dark Knight.  It was the best costume I have created to date but as you can see from the picture, it wasn’t Heath Ledger quality.  I was still upstaged by a male friend who came as the nun in Doubt.  Having to shave off a very well developed beard of 15 years gave him extra points!

I believe being in a May/December relationship has been freeing for me.  I can’t imagine dressing up (or singing the theme song from Oh Brother Where Art Thou as I did one year) without Gayle’s encouragement.  I always believed that type of stuff was foolishness (a word from my childhood.)  Enjoying life is not foolishness – it is a necessity (at least for me.)  The fact that I’m in an age-gap relationship makes it easier to enjoy life, not harder.

Yes, greasepaint itches.  It also brought enjoyment to me and everyone who saw me in costume.  Even my kids have commented positively about the picture.  Don’t be afraid you might have to change.  Count on it.  Revel in it!  Put on your own version of greasepaint and have a ball.

Some secrets are meant to be shared!

Pass this one on…

How can you ever know?

(Posted by Ron)

I read it on the forums.  I hear it from clients.  “He/she is older than me!  He/she will die and leave me alone.”  My comments are usually the same when these questions arise.  I believe the relationship is most important, not the age of the partners or when either of us might die.

I was watching Blade Runner again.  Yes, it’s 25 years old but, surprisingly, not terribly dated.  This time I heard Harrison Ford‘s Blade Runner character answer these questions in another way as he escaped with Rachel, the replicant (android) with whom he had fallen in love.  These were the last words in the movie.  As he knew he had made a life changing decision by leaving with her he said:

“I didn’t know how long we would have together.  Who does?”

OK, you might have to watch the movie again to understand the context.  However, I couldn’t say it any better about an age-gap or any other relationship.  We don’t know how long we will have together.  Should you really let that fear keep you out of an otherwise promising relationship? I know what the answer to the question is for me.  The question is do you know what the answer is for you?

CHANGING

How often do you hear well meaning friends (busybodies) giving you advice about your relationship?  People love to tell you that people don’t change.    Even we have told you it is good to practice acceptance with people you love.

But today we are crying foul – PEOPLE DO CHANGE!  Read the rest of this entry »