Preferably not my wife!

(Posted by Ron)

It’s 1:00am and our flight to Atlanta leaves in six hours.  In four hours we have to meet the van to take us to the airport.  We are also in a “luggage rich” environment.  Yes, we over-packed, as usual.  I manage a couple of hours sleep in the recliner.  Gayle doesn’t sleep at all.  She is on the couch with her computer on her lap and she’s connected to facebook.  Shorty is sleeping on her legs and Freddie is sleeping against her.  It’s the day we leave for the cruise of a lifetime.

At 3:00am we begin to get dressed and I finish loading the car.  At 4:30am we leave for the hotel to meet our van.  We arrive at the airport early and have time to eat breakfast.  So far, so good.  We are flying on Delta so it isn’t hard to find our flight.  We land uneventfully in Atlanta and everything begins to plummet from there. Read the rest of this entry »

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I don’t talk about things like that:

(Posted by Ron)

I finally realized the oil business was not for me.  In 1984 I interviewed with a gentleman for a position as VP of Finance at the investment company he owned.  Little did I know how big this defining moment was going to be in my life.  After being hired I found working for him to be fun and exciting.  He was a financially successful man who thrived on risk and opportunities.   Over the four years I was there I traveled, of course, and sadly, it was during that time that my marriage finally ended.

Gayle and I had reconnected after I returned to Dallas and were now in a relationship.  In fact we were seriously considering marriage.  The fact that she was 15 years younger than me just didn’t seem important to either of us.  During this time my boss and his wife attended a personal development workshop and he came back to the office convinced that all of his employees should attend.  He called me into his office and asked if I would trust him enough to attend without knowing the subject.  He would pay for it and give me the time off to attend.  Well, I was nobody’s fool.  If my boss wanted me to do something like this and was paying; of course I would go.  I remembered my experience with the career counselor in the Navy.  Now was not the time to say no.

In August 1986 I went to a local hotel on Friday night with my briefcase, notepads, and my shirt and tie.  I was ready for an intense business workshop.  It was then known as YOU Seminars.  I didn’t know who he was at the time but YOU was owned by Dr. Phil McGraw and another Clinical Psychologist who presented the workshops in Dallas.  It was certainly not a business workshop!  When I walked in and saw everyone dressed in black with frowns on their faces I realized I might have made a mistake in coming.

A few minutes later I knew I was in the wrong place.  YOU Seminars was one of the psychologically based, self development seminars that were popular in the 1980’s and 1990’s.  In that first weekend I was angrier than I had been in a very long time.  How dare they delve into my personal life and refuse to let me avoid participation!  I wasn’t a quitter, though, so I decided to stick it out until Sunday night.  I certainly had no intention of returning for the second session that began 10 days later.

My boss was kind (and cagey) about it and did not push.  He did encourage me to return, though.  For some reason during those 10 days I decided I was going to finish what I had started and this time it was my decision.  I walked out of the second session on Sunday night a different man.  Not only had I experienced phenomenal personal growth, but also had seen what I considered to be miracles in others.  I was hooked.

~Know somebody in a relationship with an age difference? Or someone who could benefit from relationship tips, tricks, and tools?

Some secrets are meant to be shared!

Pass it on….

Two become one.  Ripped apart.  Redemption.  Reunion.

Some secrets are meant to be shared and you don’t have to be in a May December relationship to benefit from ours!

Pass this one on…

Teamwork

It has been said “a successful team beats with one heart.”  How many heart beats are you hearing in your relationship today?  Read the rest of this entry »

They just do.

(Posted by Ron)

At a recent family and friends wedding dinner I was asked what constituted a MayDecember relationship.  Because there were nine years between the wife and husband I told them they met most definitions of an age-gap couple.

The wife asked what the implications of an age gap relationship were and I could only say “nothing.”  From someone who is writing a book on the subject, it sounds like a strange answer.  If a couple is the same age or have lots of years between them the basic facts never change.  It’s ultimately about the relationship, not the age.  Yes, the older partner may die before the younger, but not necessarily.  Yes, the partners may have different interests but I believe they must have something in common or they would not be in a committed relationship.

I’ve heard people express very strong emotions when discussing age-gap relationships.  I also met others who were in or had been in such relationships.  As is often the case, those with the problems were the most vocal.  Those who are in or know someone who is in a successful age-gap relationship don’t usually have a lot to say about age differences.

Sometimes I think there are those of us who need something about which to be judgmental so we can feel ok about ourselves.  Why else would we so readily use the word “minority” to describe unique groups of people in our society?  Why do we so often hear the word “gold-digger” when describing a younger woman in an age-gap relationship?  Why do we use the words “cougar” or “cradle robber” when describing the older person in those relationships?

Yes, there are problems in relationships with age differences.  Some of these may even be related to their ages.  Consider this, however.  Problems with non-age gap relationships are really not much different.  In all relationships partners die too soon.  Partners may have significant health problems regardless of age.  Partners’ different interests may never be reconciled.  In the final analysis we are all two individuals trying to be happy with each other.  We are often unsuccessful, regardless of our ages, but just as often we are.

So, why does someone else care about our ages?  If we worry about their concerns we are falling into the same judgmental trap.  For some reason they do care and to paraphrase something I once heard someone say, “What other people think about me is none of my business..”  What is our business is to let them have their judgments while we celebrate our lives together.

Some secrets are meant to be shared and you don’t have to be in a May December relationship to benefit from ours!

Pass this on…

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