As the old saying goes, “old enough!”

(Posted by Ron)

I recently wrote a post about how so many people are interested in the years between my age and Gayle’s.  Yesterday it occurred to me that there are significant differences between my age and the ages of my friends, and Gayle’s age and the ages of her friends, and our friends’ ages and mine and Gayle’s.  Confusing?  It’s really not.

Our best friend is about 25 years younger than I.  We recently cruised with new friends who are a bit younger than Gayle.  Over the years since we started doing our workshops we have made friends with people who are the same age as us, younger, older and age unknown.  We didn’t “card them”  before we became friends.  We didn’t make sure they were interested in the same things as us before deciding to like them.  I only remember wanting their friendship.

I have been asked so often if a couple with a significant age difference should take a chance on a committed relationship.  My answer is consistent.  Do you love each other?  If there were no age difference would you question the decision?  Would your answer be yes?  Those are the questions to ask, not whether your ages are a problem.

As you read this I want you to take a quick inventory of your friends.  Are they all close to the same age as you?  If so, maybe you should branch out some.  If not, did you question your age differences when you became friends?  Did you worry about not having the same interests?  Losing your older friend to death?  Other age related questions?  I doubt it.

My very good friends range in age from less than forty to ages similar to mine.  We have developed similar interests.  We are able to have meaningful  conversations.  We enjoy each other’s company.  Age is not an issue.

We’ve lost young friends and older friends.   Our lives would have been less full without their presence for as long as we got to enjoy them.  Friendships, like relationships and loves don’t depend upon age.  They, too, are based upon love and respect for one another.  Why let questions about age cause problems.  We are “old enough.”

Some secrets are meant to be shared and you don’t have to be in a May December relationship to benefit from ours!  Life is tricky, we need all the help we can get!

Pass this on…

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For all of you women who are dating younger men, I think you’ll find this of interest.  You may not just be “cougars” anymore, perhaps you are bright, intelligent, vital women who marry the man you love regardless of what society might say!   And do we really have to call him a “toyboy” or “boy toy?”  Yikes!

Age gap – smage gap!  I mean…. I’m just saying….

Cheers,
Gayle

Nine years on and Barbara Windsor and her toyboy husband Scott are happier than ever | Mail Online.

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Of course they are, I hope!

(Posted by Ron)

I recently took a dance lesson just for a wedding we were attending in New York city.  Yes, you heard me right, “A” dance lesson.  Just one.  It was just Gayle and me and the instructor in this very large room.  Private was good.  Afterwards Gayle and I practiced in front of the TV with You Tube dance lessons, but no one got to watch.  I was dreading dancing at the wedding.  I knew everyone would think I was a fool if I thought I could dance.

I tried to learn dancing when I was a teenager but could never make it work.  After all, I knew everyone was watching me.  Each time I made a mistake I was sure they were laughing behind my back.  I quickly gave up.

Shortly after the wedding we embarked on a 16 day cruise across the Atlantic to the Mediterranean.  It took six days to cross the Atlantic.  Lots of time for dance lessons.  Yes, James, the cruise director, gave dance lessons each morning.  He and “the lovely Chelsea” would stand there for an hour and teach basic dancing to whomever was interested.  Swing!  Salsa!  Rhumba!  Cha Cha!  Waltz! and others too numerous to remember.  Gayle and I attended these lessons and many of the afternoon practice sessions.  The lessons continued through the last day of the cruise.

I always found a place in the very back where no one could see what I was doing.  After a few lessons, however, Gayle and I began to get better at the dances and I began to enjoy them.  I was still not anxious for anyone to see me as I counted steps and watched my feet.  I was sure they were watching, though.  At the end of one session Gayle and I found a quiet corner and went over the steps we had just learned.  James walked by and complimented us for caring enough to practice.  Almost immediately several things popped into my mind.  They included:

• No one was watching me.  They were too busy trying to untangle their own feet.
• I was not a bad dancer and Gayle and I were doing at least as good as the rest of the classes.
• I remembered the wedding and realized although we had taken only one lesson, that was one more than almost any other guest had taken.
• Dancing is good exercise.  After each class I had to go back to the room and change out of the sweaty clothes.
• Dancing is fun.  I think I’ll take some more lessons.

So many “age-gappers” worry they might have differing interests which can’t be reconciled.  Well, neither Gayle nor I danced before taking a lesson for Dixie’s wedding but that didn’t stop us from learning.  More importantly, do you think everyone is watching you as a couple when you enter a room?  Do you think the age difference is so evident that everyone can see it?  Well, that’s not likely and, even if it is, be proud in your difference.  Let them see the two of you having common interests and goals.  Let them see how proud each of you is to be with the other.  Let them see you as a couple, not an age difference.

I was never interested in learning to dance.  I never had a formal dance lesson in my life until I was in my 67th year.  So is everyone looking at me now when I dance?  I hope so, especially the ones who won’t get out on the floor.  They don’t know what they are missing.

Some secrets are meant to be shared and you don’t have to be in a May December relationship to benefit from ours!

Pass this on…

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Hmmmm. A new Woody Allen movie coming out in June featuring Larry David (61) in a romance with Evan Rachel Wood (21).  Soooo much to say, but for now we’ll just post the link!

May-December Romances in April | MovieMaker Magazine.

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Can you be in love without using the word?

(Posted by Gayle)

I dare you… make that a double dare… to take the word “love” completely out of your vocabulary this week.  I’ve got a bone to pick with that word and I’m taking a break from it.  I don’t know what the heck it means.  Yes – you heard me right.  Straight from the horses “fingers” (so to speak).  I don’t know what the word loves means and going to the dictionary is of no use to me either.

I have visions of using the word “love” in a high school English paper and finding red marks all of the graded specimen. Read the rest of this entry »