Or is today a good day to die? (Posted by Ron)
Gayle and I recently attended a memorial service for a man who died much too young. He left behind a young family and many, many friends. At the service the speaker made the comment “there’s never a right time to die.” The Ogallala Sioux chief Crazy Horse is said to have exhorted his braves with the words “Hoka-Hey (Let’s do it!) Today is a good day to die.”
By it’s very name a May December relationship is about partners with different ages. One of the most discussed fears is that the older partner will die and leave the younger partner alone. It does happen, but like many fears, it’s simply another example of future events appearing real. I have many friends who have died young, most leaving partners or other loved ones behind. Whether they were the oldest or youngest partner is immaterial. The fact is that most deaths leave someone behind. Regardless of the relative ages of the participants, the pain is the same.
If you are in a relationship with someone your age or at least close to your age do you spend a lot of time worrying about their death? I doubt it. If you are trying to decide whether or not to enter into a May December relationship because of the age differences will you make your decision in fear or love? If it’s right, it’s right, regardless of age. It’s not really unusual for the older partner to lose the younger to death.
So what does this have to do with the words that started this post? Possibly not much. For most of us the loss of any loved one usually comes at the wrong time. Maybe not from their viewpoint but certainly from ours. And what about Crazy Horse’s exhortation to his warriors? How did he know it was a good day to die? My guess is any day he was fighting for his way of life was a good day to die for him. I do believe there are right times and good days to die. I hope mine will be a very long time from now but I don’t control that. September 5, 1877 was obviously the good day for Crazy Horse to die.
Don’t make your life decisions in fear. Make them in love and bravery and joy. After all, none of us are going to get out of this alive so make the most of the time you have. Minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years. Each can be a lifetime in it’s own way. The right time and the good day to die is whatever day we or our loved one passes into the next great adventure. Celebrate all of the right and good days to live until then.
