Only if you want one.

(Posted by Ron)

Consider this.  You are the same age, or at least close in age, yet you have a problem.  One of you seems older than the other.  Does that make sense?  It can if you think about it.

Our 15 year age difference really hasn’t made much difference to us. Gayle and I seem to have found an “age” that works for both of us. We have met each other at that “age” throughout our years together.  How does it work?  Simple.  I’m not defined by the years since my birth and neither is she.

So, how can closely aged partners be in an “age-gapped” relationship? Think about this -  one of you has retired early and wants to enjoy retirement.  His or her idea of enjoyment may be to putter around the house, or garden, or cook, or fish, or any of a hundred other activities CLOSE to home.  But YOU, you have been waiting for this retirement… waiting to travel, visit the kids, grab some new hobbies, and have fun AWAY from home.  Age-gap?  No, but the results may be the same.  It may feel like your partner has aged much faster than you and you feel stuck.

Consider these scenarios:

Same age, but one partner becomes ill. The illness limits him or her.  Perhaps it is heart disease, stroke, early onset Alzheimer’s disease.  You may watch your partner age or even die in front of your eyes.  You feel the gap widen without an age difference.

Then there is the partner who rapidly grows younger. The “mid-life crisis” partner.  You may be ready to enjoy the work the two have you put into the relationship… the financial stability… the children.  Oops!  You begin to feel separate but there is no actual age difference.  Your suddenly “younger” partner is off into another life.

Gaps can and do happen in all relationships. But, age is seldom the final determinant of a “successful” relationship.  We all age differently.  Time since birth can be meaningless.  Illnesses does not respect years.  “Mid-life” crises can happen at any time.  Death visits young or same aged couples almost as readily as those with significant age differences.  Will your age-matched partner maintain a comparable activity level to yours over the years?  Who knows?  Will they have the same interests?  Again, who knows.

So, quit worrying about age differences. They are only one of many variants in any relationship and are only as important as you make them.  The key to making it work is learning to adapt to change and being able to communicate effectively when times are tough.  If you don’t flow well with change and can’t talk to each other when things are at their worst, then think twice about making a long-term commitment.

You don’t have to be in a May December relationship to be privy our secrets. Are you feeling the gaps or facing the challenges that come with long lasting relationships?  Then our secrets are meant to be shared with you too!

Some secrets are meant to be shared!

Pass it on….

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• Today’s Secret: Two halves DON’T make a whole!