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Why call it May-December?A May-December relationship is where there is a significant age gap between the two people. It is an old term. It refers to the younger person being in the “spring” of his or her life (May) and the older person is the “winter” of their life (December). The reference is becoming archaic since people are living longer, healthier, more productive lives. Ron and I are probably more August-October. I’m nearing the end of Summer (maybe that’s why I’m having hot flashes) and he’s planning to hang out in Fall for as long as possible! Currently the trend is to call relationships with a large age difference either an “age gap” relationship or one with significant “age disparity.” Wikipedia (of couse if it’s in Wikipedia is must be true) posts a rule for determining if the age difference is socially acceptable: The “half-your-age-plus-seven rule” is one rule of thumb defining a mathematical formula to judge whether the age difference in an intimate relationship is socially acceptable. Divide the older person’s age by 2. Add 7 to the number you get. If the younger person’s age is greater than or equal the number you get – then (theoretically) the age difference is acceptable. Example: Older person is 60 60/2 = 30 + 7 = 37 39 (younger person’s age) is greater than or equal to 37 (number from formula). Example: Older person is 25 25/2 = 12.5 + 7 = 19.5 18 (younger person’s age) is less than 19.5 (number from calculation) . With all that said, just because a relationship passes the forumla, doesn’t necessarily mean it will work. That’s why we are blogging on this subject! We’re here to help you figure out what will make your relationship successful. 5 comments to Why call it May-December? |
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Our age gap relationship passes the socially acceptable mathematical formula. The “social” issue is that in appearance we look like there’s a more significant age difference than 17 years. So while on paper we “pass” the test if you will we don’ often pass the eyeball test when out in public. I’ve been mistaken for his college age daughters friend and once for his adopted daughter!
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Dear Ron and Gayle:
Your website sounds exactly like what I have been looking for. I am recently divorced and I have been involved with a man who is twenty four years older than me. I am 33 and he is 57. However, he is VERY youthful for his age. He exercises and lifts weights daily, has never smoked, hates alcohol, and would rather sip tea or water than soda. His own doctor told him that he has the heart of a man in his twenties. However, my parents are simply fuming over the relationship (they are 60 and 61) and they (my folks) and the rest of my family are convinced that it could never work between he and I. They think I am, simply put, being a fool. Any advice you could offer me would be well received and appreciated.
Sincerely yours, Kelley B.
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rongayle Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 7:04 pm
Hi Kelley:
I think June(bug) just said it better than I could. There are no guarantees in life. I say, be gentle with your parents. Stand your ground, but them know you understand about their concerns. Then you might just send them over to this website! Every marriage has strengths and weaknesses. With love, respect, and commitment you’ll have a solid foundation for the good and the bad times.
Best of luck to you both!
Gayle
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Kelly, I am here to tell you Age is a number only. My Husband was 46 and I was 23 when we married. He was Young at heart and we were married for 40 yrs. He took good care of himself and I also looked after him. that helped. He died at 86 after a very short bout of Lung Trouble. His heart could have carried him to 106. So I say it is not the years but the QUALITY of the Relationship that keeps it going. My uncle told me when I asked his opinion of my pending marriage “MY DEAR, It is better to be an OLD mans Pet than a YOUNG mans Fool” I rest my case!
June(bug)
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rongayle Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 6:58 pm
Hi June(bug):
Thanks for sharing your story with us. I have to admit, it’s always nice to hear a sister “May” tell her story and share about her December’s longevity. Needless to say when you are happily married, you want your spouse to hang around! I have learned that being of similar ages is no guarantee that both partners will live the same amount of time.
But again, it is always nice to hear that a couple with a significant age gap can celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary together. I’m sorry for your loss. I’m sure you miss him. Thank goodness you didn’t let fear or judgements stop you from following your heart. You had sooooo many wonderful years together. I just love to hear that!!!
hugs,
Gayle
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