Posted by Gayle

Great article here.  Some very good things to think about and sound research too.
SilverCircle.ie – Relationships > Sex > Why older men prefer younger women.

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Posted by Gayle

This quote is right on for all of us!  Not just those of  who are May-December Lovers. Enjoy….

“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another.” – Gail Sheehy

Facebook | Gayle Luster

Warning!  This is harder than it sounds and more essential than you’ll ever know….

Gayle

Poached from The Daily Love….

“An intimate relationship does not banish loneliness. Only when we are comfortable with who we are can we truly function independently in a healthy way, can we truly function within a relationship. Two halves do not make a whole when it comes to a healthy relationship: it takes two wholes.”

- Patricia Fry, is a full-time freelance writer, editorial consultant and the author of 25 books.

Saving a little me just for me.

(Posted by Gayle)

When I was a kid, my mother was very cautious to make sure I didn’t get too much a of good thing.  She knew too much Cracker Jack or cotton candy at a Cubs games might make me throw up, too much sun at the pool might burn me, too many hours staying up late with friends might exhaust me.  I didn’t appreciate her attempts to thwart my happiness.  Nor did I understand she might have been trying to teach me an essential lesson – a lesson I still struggle to learn.

Often I feel incapable of finding the simplicity for which I long.  What happens when my “rules” for life come into conflict with my capabilities?  This era of modern conveniences and medicine makes it easier for us to push past our limits.  While I am capable of spending more energy than I may actually have on any given day,  the tab finally comes due.  When the debt collector knocks on my door, I look away in shame.  I hate to admit I’ve done it again.  I am bankrupt and cannot pay the bill.  The debt is then collected from my body and my relationships.  Ron has paid for my overdoing on more than one occasion.  I become irritable with him or worse yet “not present” meaning I’m there, but not really.  My mind can spin in more directions than a kaleidoscope.

My other relationships suffer at these times too -  especially the one I have with myself.  Ahhhh the relationship I have with myself?!   It’s the longest standing of my relationships.  It is also the most volatile and labile.  Recently I’ve come to realize just how important it is for me to nurture this alliance and even put it before other of my relationships.  Of course I had heard and even said “you can’t take care of anyone else – if you don’t take care of yourself.”  But now, understanding I can go into debt with myself, the concept is more meaningful.  I thought I was doing fine, but I was actually borrowing from myself so I could stay in motion and meet my own demands.  When I hit the wall, I hit it hard and there were still several weeks of “good things” left on my calendar.

So now I am entering into a new round of negotiations with myself.  I’m paying better attention and determining what elements of self-care are actually non-negotiable for me.  My list is a work in progress, but it includes things like the minimum amount of sleep I need, exercises for my mind, body, and spirit, and downtime.  I can’t really give more of me till I learn the art of regeneration and actually keep some of me for myself.

In case you were wondering what’s in the photo?  (In order from right to left):

• crock pot beef sandwiches cooking
• sausage for breakfast casserole browning
• noodles for tuna salad boiling
• casserole dish for breakfast casserole
• behind casserole dish mixes for cupcakes and muffins
• egg mixture for breakfast casserole
• MacBook sitting on top of fruit salad container (so I can write this post and check facebook!)
• Outside front door – watering burnt grass
• off camera – Laundry in washing machine and dryer

Get a Generator!

(Posted by Gayle)

That’s the water rushing out of our backyard and our neighbor’s yard. We’ve had better days here in Dallas and we’ve had worse.  We are among the quarter of a million people who lost power during last night’s storms.  We’re at 21 hours and counting with no electricity.  It gives being “powerless” a whole new meaning!  Our nerves frayed and the stress levels in our household soared as we realized our situation wasn’t going to be remedied quickly (there are indeed drawbacks to working at home.)

Ron managed to snatch the last gasoline powered generator off the shelves at the local Home Depot.  Thankfully no food is spoiling, we have WIFI, and the window unit air conditioner we have in bedroom is keeping us cool tonight. We have it better than so many other folks here many of whom are in hotels, staying with family, or shelters tonight.  
There were moments during in the day when we came close to losing our cool with each other.  Here’s how we survived.

1. We just kept breathing (which is highly underrated.)
2. We recognized that each of us shows our stress in different ways and we tried to stay out of each other’s way for the most part.
3. We were, however, as courteous as possible to each other.
4. We offered assistance to one another and tried to be extra helpful.
5. We took time to stop, look each other in the eye, and communicate about what was happening in calm tones.
6. We went out of our way to avoid taking our anger and frustration out on each other.
7. And sometimes I just had to let the tears flow.

But mostly tonight we are counting our blessings.  Ron’s ingenuity and tireless efforts in caring for “this old house” are at the top of my list.

Update:  at 9 am this morning, TXU said “let there be light” and there was light.  Whew…..