August 21st, 2010
Or so say many people who eagerly look for reasons that people should not enter into age-gap relationships:
I read the news about Michael Douglas‘ throat cancer with the same sadness I would have for anyone who was visited by the Big C. Believe it or not, it isn’t any worse or better because he is a celebrity who is married to a younger woman.
We’ve said many times that society’s primary age-gap role models are celebrities. In reality though, age is no more important in Hollywood than the additional publicity that is derived from being in the media because you have a young wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend/lover, etc. Rarely, if ever, do the media take the time to look behind the notoriety of the relationship. I believe we should look more closely at Michael and Catherine because they seem to be surviving their age difference quite well. Not only do they still seem to be happy, but also they look to me like very good parents.
Yes, it will be sad if something happens and Michael can’t beat this disease. Somehow I think he will do just fine. He is strong and has the love and support of a loving wife and children. Who cares that he is a celebrity? In this fight he is no different than you or me.
He and Catherine might truly be one of our best Hollywood relationship/couple role models simply because they are making it work. In the worst case one of them might die soon – yes, one of them. Regardless of age or disease, neither knows who will be the first to go. One of the greatest love stories of the 20th century was that of Clark Gable and Carole Lombard, although the seven years between them barely qualifies as an age-gap. Lombard died at the age of 33 in an airplane crash and Gable was said to have never gotten over her death. Although he remarried, he was still buried by her side when he died.
Beautiful loves often suffer loss regardless of age. John Lennon was seven years younger than Yoko when he was killed in 1980. She is still alive. George Gershwin had a ten year relationship with Kay Swift. Although they were the same age, she still outlived him by more than 50 years as he died when he was 38, and the list goes on.
Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones appear to be committed to each other. They have found a way to be happy, raise a family, and still be very active in their individual careers. Catherine has won an Academy Award, Tony, etc. since they married. They have maintained their individuality in their work and in their relationship. That is hard in most cases, but particularly in Hollywood.
So for those of you who judge couples by their ages, look to your own relationships. Maybe your time would be better spent not worrying about celebrities. For those of you struggling to make decisions about an age gap relationship, look to yourselves. Only you know if it is good for you. For those of you simply trying to find, develop, or be in a relationship regardless of age, look to yourselves, too. Age is a red herring. Happiness is found within love, not birthdates.
Consider the lesson from Garth Brooks’ song The Dance. “I could have missed the pain, but I’d of had to miss the dance.” Ask yourself what’s more important, missing a bit of pain or dancing during the time you spend together, no matter how short or long that time may be? Don’t ask about age. It truly is meaningless when it comes to love. Consider Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. They had 50 years together. Do you believe she mourned any less because they had so many years together? Love knows no age. Loss knows no age.
Michael, my thoughts go out to you and I wish you success in your coming struggle. Somehow I think you will be OK. Catherine, although I don’t know you, I believe I’ve seen your love for Michael. You are good advertisements for love, no matter your ages. May God be with you throughout this fight and my prayer for you is simply that His will be done.
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- Michael Douglas Gets Diagnosed With Throat Cancer (brainz.org)
- Poor Catherine Zeta-Jones facing age-old problem (mirror.co.uk)
- Catherine Zeta-Jones wasn’t sure about motherhood (hollywoodnews.com)
- Michael Douglas In Chemotheraphy For Tumour (news.sky.com)
- Celebrity Cancer Survivors (foxnews.com)
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