Why I love metaphors and why you should too!

(posted by Gayle)

Just a short 24 hours before this picture was taken, my friend, Audrey and I were on a Thelma and Louise style trip to Jefferson City, MO from Big D. We were headed to say goodbye to the woman who introduced us and made such a difference in so many lives.

Audrey is many things to many people – but on the day the picture was taken she was Audrey of Audrey’s Wedding Flowers. Her job was to create a floral celebration for the union of two hearts. Just the day before her task was to say goodbye to one of her best friends.   When we got to Jefferson City, Rhoda was mostly unconscious (cancer in the brain, which started 8 years ago in her breast, will do that to a person.) She was also non verbal, but there was evidence she knew we were there.  Saying goodbye to someone for the last time is something you get to do only once.  It is an honor, but it doesn’t wait for “good timing” or schedules to clear.  You have to go with your gut and move heaven and earth sometimes to make it happen.

Our trip was marked by tears, music, laughter, hugs, hand holding, and the worst airline delay I’ve ever encountered. It was fitting. Rhoda worked for TSA (you know the Homeland Security folks that make us strip down before boarding airplanes.) She took her job seriously. She also hated it.  Had she been working on this day, it certainly would have been among her worst.  Perhaps she was sending us a cosmic message reminding us – “look ladies, things could be worse!  You are just waiting for a plane, I am waiting for my last breath – BUCK UP!

When we finally landed back in Dallas at 11:30pm, Audrey was heading home to a floral all nighter.  She was concerned about what shape she would find her Gerber Daisies in. The wedding was large and she had many arrangements to make.  She (wisely) declined assistance from my untrained hands.  She knew I would slow her down.   I was worried about her.  I knew she would pull it off (never a doubt), but I also knew her magic would exact its toll on her.  I hugged her in parting and asked her to send pictures of the arrangements which were plaguing her most – the centerpieces for the tables.

Here’s what Audrey had to say about the picture when she sent it to me:

The Frantic Centerpiece:  I just remembered you wanted a picture. I made 15 of these in less than 2 hours. When I finally started them I had just inflicted upon myself the worst hot glue gun burn of my floral career.  About halfway through is when I got the call that Rhoda had died. Talk about a miracle. You were right to worry Louise (as in” Thelma and…”)!

I wrote back:

Dear Thelma,  It’s really is beautiful. This frantic centerpiece says so much and it is a metaphor for so many things. Look closely…

• A flame waiting to be lit.
• A flame which when lit will burn brightly.
• A flame that will eventually cease to burn.
• A flame which will mark the beginning of a new lives.
• A flame which will also, in her silent way, mark the ending of another life.
• A barrier surrounding the flame to protect it from the winds of life.  It will help it survive, but ultimately cannot ensure it’s survival.
• The candle and glass are surrounded by beauty, but the beauty is already dying because it is cut off from its source.
• The hands that created the beauty were wounded terribly, were having one of the worst days of their life, but were still working to create one of someone else’s best days.
• And then there are petals, reminders of the beauty, but also a reminder that everyone and everything will in time shed and let go.

Rarely does a day go by when I do NOT use a metaphor.   They help me find meaning in this thing we call life and perhaps more importantly they help me communicate my innermost thoughts and feelings to others and aid in my understanding of their inner world.  I’m always grateful when I find a special one that helps me make sense of what is happening around me.  I may never look at a floral centerpiece with a candle in the middle the same.   Rhoda will be there, indeed she is everywhere.

Key metaphors help determine what and how we perceive and how we think about our perceptions.
M. H. Abrams

Metaphors have a way of holding the most truth in the least space.
Orson Scott Card

You can see my video tribute to Rhoda by clicking here.

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