From the News & Star a daily newspaper in the UK

Mind the age gap

Last updated 14:05, Tuesday, 19 August 2008

It’s been a heady summer of romance for older celebrity men bagging themselves much younger partners.

Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood hit the headlines when he ran off to Ireland with a cocktail waitress 43 years younger than him.

At 61, Salman Rushdie’s been linked to a 27-year-old Bollywood actress; John Cleese, 68, is romancing a woman half his age, and DJ Mark Ronson, 32, is engaged to 19-year-old model Daisy Lowe.

The celebrity world has its own rules about relationships, with many an unexpected match, but this latest crop of loved-up stars and their younger women has certainly sparked a debate about age gap relationships. Just how much promise of lasting bliss do May-December relationships hold?

Mark Barrowcliffe, author of Mr Wrong – a diary of failed relationships – says: “In my experience there is a very good reason why a good-looking, young woman is willing to go out with a man over 15 years her senior. She’s nuts.

To read the entire article from the News and Star UK – click here.

Gayle’s Commentary

If you surf around the web looking for “news” stories about May December relationships, so many of them have the tone of the above article.

  • First they list celebrity examples and not necessarily the one good ones.
  • Then they support the common myths of gold digging women and trophy seeking men.
  • And finally they question our mental health.

Having spent 22 years in my marriage working very hard (to have a good marriage) and 18 years in the mental health profession working very hard (to be a good therapist), I’m reasonably certain I’m not nuts!  My advice follows…

When you read this stuff, remember they are portraying many relationships (not just the ones with age gaps) in a negative light.  A good marriage is rarely news.  The Clinton’s don’t have an age gap and they thought she was nuts.  Brad Pitt and his wives didn’t have a significant age gap and they thought he was nuts when he left Jennifer for Angelina and now Brangelina are the poster children for charity and parenting.  Katie and Tom do have an age gap and they thought he was nuts (jumping on Oprah’s couch didn’t help him look sane.)  Bottom line, when we are nutty we are news. Sanity doesn’t make headlines.  Take it with a grain of salt and move on.  It’s a waste of energy to get enraged…

For a closer look at age gap relationships, read our Article “Are May December Relationships Really that Different?”