Diary.
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Why did she have to get us involved?

(Posted by Earnest D. Cember)

Hey y’all, it’s me, Earnest D. Cember.  Now I  tried to keep out of that there book writin’ project Ron and Gayle were fools enough to start.  Oh, I’ve put a couple or things in their blog as a “guest blogger” but they was about me – an interesting subject even if I do say so myself.  I’ve been very careful to not disclose how me and Earnestine got suckered into this thing but Earnestine just couldn’t stand not having her nose in somebody else’s bizness.  No, hers ain’t brown.  That’s Ron and Gayle’s  fecal situation, not ours, but it looks like everyone now knows we’re supposed to be watchin’ the whole process and reportin’ on it.

I have to digress a bit.  I love big words like digress.  Makes me feel real smart.  But if you’ve read any of my website you know I hate made up words.  Blogger is a made up word!  Why can’t we just call it what it is?  It’s a diary!  And by the way, when did people start lettin’ other people read their diaries?  That’s just weird.

OK, let’s us get back to the subject at hand.  Earnestine and I are supposed to be writin’ about Ron and Gayle writin’.  (Did you get that?)  Now we’ve known these two for lots of years.  We’ve been their very best friends fer as long as they’ve known each other.  I gotta’ say the last year or so has been tough on them.  I’ve watched them argue and fight for as long as I’ve known them.  (I’m sure glad Earnestine and I don’t do that!)  They’ve had themselves some pretty hair-raisin’ to-dos over the years but this book writin’ behavior is in a class of it’s own.

So how do you and your honey get along?  Good?  God bless you.  Bad?  God save you.  Just take my advise, please.  Don’t try writin’ a book about your relationship with your honey (I’d skip keeping a public diary on-line if I was you, too.)  I think Ron and Gayle were about a week into the process when Earnestine and me knew there was a rocky road ahead and no 4-wheeler to get them over it.  Talk about dirty laundry!  Those two began re-living every problem they’d ever had and let me tell you this, it weren’t pretty.

Now they weren’t always just fightin’.  They actually wrote some very good stuff, in spite of the fights.  Earnestine’s already told you they’ve done some fun stuff.  Cruisin’, explorin’ the old country, goin’ to big weddings, that sort of stuff.  But Ron tells me they found time to fight even then.  Now don’t get me wrong.  I haven’t seen any lawyers around here so they must be doin’ ok. (No weapons, neither.)

When they were gettin’ ready for that big New York wedding (la-de-da) they took a dance lesson.  I’m gonna tell you this.  Ron’n me have somethin’ in common.  We don’t dance!  But he was gonna learn to swing, and not the fun (but dangerous) kind.  He said they did good at the wedding, though, so the lesson musta helped.  Then came dance lessons on one of them cruises.  Then more lessons once they got back home.  Salsa, of all things!  (There you go with them strange words.  Salsa is something you eat!)  Well, Ron called a halt to that stuff.  His feet just don’t move right to Salsa.

OK, let’s get back to this book thing.  They’ve stopped writin’!  They just stopped!  Now they’re workin’ on somethin’ called a book proposal.  They’ve gone off into their own corners with those computers with the apple on them.  Ever now and agin they look up and just stare at each other.  It’s downright spooky.  I think I’d rather have them fightin’ than starin’.  I’ve been wantin’ to tell them they should finish the book before they propose to anybody but I’m afraid of them right now.

I wonder if the book has anything in it about starin’.  It oughta!  I guess I should read some of it when they aren’t lookin’ so I’ll know what’s in it.  I sure liked them better before they started this crazy book.  Me and Earnestine are keepin’ our distance from them right now, though.  Oh, I wish Earnestine would stop talking about poo so much?  Yes, a poo is just a poo, but doggone it, it’s private!

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