Maybe they’re nutty; it is after all, fruitcake time again.

(Posted by Gayle)

Nuptial Economics: Why women want to marry older men.

22 Nov 2008, 1613 hrs IST, Rucha Biju Chitrodia, TNN
The Economic Times

…Agreed, there may be different reasons for different women to choose an older man. But the advantages are there for all to see; an older man is expected to be more experienced, mature, resilient, have a more rounded personality, less likely to stray and, of course, is definitely a lot more bankable than a young guy just starting out in life. He would make a good provider for his woman and children…. Read entire article here.

Gayle’s Commentary

This article discusses the impact time and equality are having on the Indian custom of men marrying women who are significantly younger.  It seems that as time goes on this custom is disappearing and marriages of “equals” are becoming more and more common.  Yet with the development of parity in relationships a new freedom of choice is emerging in Indian women.  No longer, being “required” to fulfill a societal custom and marry an older man is also freeing women to fall in love with men who are significantly their senior.

A 25-year-old media person, settled in Australia and married to a man 11 years her senior, reveals via e-mail: “Ours is not a classic case these days. However, with him, I’ve found a way to look deep inside a man’s soul and find a spiritual partner…. We vibe on a different level, one which has nothing to do with age at all.’’

My sentiments exactly!  While arranged marriages have not had the same place in the US as in many other countries, they were common place in pioneer times for the same reasons discussed in the reviewed article.   When the requirement is lifted, it’s natural to see a drift away from the prior demands.

I’m in my marriage for love and compatibility – not because it’s cool and not because society tells me I must be married to an older man.   I am a proponent of healthy choices. Partnering with someone whose age is significantly different than yours is a choice.  That’s all it is – that’s all I ever hope it will be – just a choice.

If it’s a choice you are considering, you are in the right place.  Subscribe to our RSS feed and newsletter and keep on reading – there’s more good stuff coming!

Hellz Yeah!

(Posted by Gayle)

Our 2222 day (22 years on the 22nd) was supposed to be a bit…well…sexier than this.  I also had a different type of post in mind.  But life happens and 22 years ago, there was an “in sickness and health” clause to which we agreed.  So as fate would have it – I got sick today of all days.  Ron and I did go out to dinner last night for our anniversary, but I knew I was toast when I stepped out of the car and my knees got weak.  Ron was indeed looking very dapper, but it wasn’t that kind of swoon.  I took it easy at dinner and didn’t have much appetite.  I was hoping it was exhaustion from our ordeal with Betty for the last 24 hours.

By this morning, I knew I had succumbed to the same stomach bug that attacked Ron last weekend.  Except for some time spent tossing cookies, I’ve been in bed all day.  I meant to get out earlier and get Ron’s card.  His gift was secure, but the card was going to be procured at the last minute.  I’ve been feeling sad all day that I didn’t have it better planned.  Thankfully, I remembered e-cards.  You would think that to an internet addict such as myself an e-card would be a no-brainer.  But that is not our way.  We take much pleasure in hand picking for each other “the perfect” card.  Many years one won’t do and so there are two.

Hallmark.com had a decent card and it made me feel better to send him something.  I had to call him on the phone to ask him to check his email.  And this is part of the response he sent back to me:

This will sound strange but take it as I mean it.  I would rather have you upstairs throwing up, visiting the bathroom lots, sick, wanting to be celebrating than not have you at all.  22 years ago we both made a very important decision.  I don’t regret that decision.  I would love to do it again.  Maybe that’s what we’ll do for 25.  I can’t imagine being happier.  I can’t imagine loving you more but I do each day.  I don’t really know what happened for me with you but I just can’t seem to do anything but fall more in love with you each day.  I hope that never slows down.

I confirmed via FaceBook chat (fewer germs that way) that he had indeed just proposed again.  It’s true and I said… yes!   So while it wasn’t the anniversary I had planned, it will one of my most memorable.  He’s…something else…isn’t he?

When I think of our love, this song always plays in my head.  When I was a little girl, I saw The Sound of Music more than 5 times in the theater with my mom.  Julie and Christopher must have been preparing me for my future because this is indeed “our song”.

(Age Gap relationships aren’t milk)

(Posted by Gayle)

It’s not exactly what went through my head that fateful day in the emergency room waiting area, but it’s close. In 2003 I wasn’t a blogger or a texter yet and I didn’t speak or think in acronyms.  Ron was having a stroke – literally.  And I was reliving age 14 and the day my father died… at home… alone with… me.

During the tedious and treacherous moments waiting to be called to Ron’s side, I was suddenly thinking that having a husband 15 years older than myself might not have been a great idea.  I think it was the first time our age gap scared me.  It wasn’t that I never thought about it before.  I just had never been so petrified of it. Read the rest of this entry »

The college year (yes, that’s right, year):

(Posted by Ron)

Throughout high school I was sure I wanted to go on to college and study medicine. I couldn’t imagine anything more fun or lucrative than being a doctor. I was the first in my family to enter college and that was a fact of some pride to my parents. I received a shock to my system when I entered Marshall University as a freshman intending to follow a pre-med path. College was definitely not high school.  Not having to study in high school meant I never really learned how to study. Subjects that came easily to me before were suddenly challenging and I was not prepared for that challenge. In my first semester as a “college man” I earned a staggering 0.9 average on a 4.0 scale. Something had to change. Read the rest of this entry »

(Uh oh, could this be my real expiration date?)

(Posted by Ron)

Unlike what Gayle wrote in her post about my stroke, this was exactly what was going through my head that fateful day as I lay in the emergency room in Austin, Texas.  When I had a stroke in 2003 I had no idea what OMG or WTF meant, but it didn’t matter.  I was thinking all of those thoughts with no acronyms and without cleaning them up for a website.  I was scared!  While Gayle was in the waiting room reliving the day her father died I was laying on an examination table, alone, remembering every person I knew who had strokes.  I saw paralyzed faces, heard slurred words and saw impaired arms and legs.  Let me say it again, I was scared! Read the rest of this entry »