January 31st, 2011
Posted by Gayle
This is the most refreshingly honest post I’ve seen written about May-December couples! I. love. it.
How about you?
November 28th, 2010
Not if your wife is your “opponent.”
(Posted by Ron)
Is it fun to hit each other in the face? It is if you are doing it via a WII (No, not W. W. II. That’s wee, as in Nintendo). We actually need another controller before we can “fight” each other, but weeee will Wii! This holiday we have bowled, played tennis, guitar and golf, all without leaving the living room.
My daughter commented on one of Gayle’s posts and part of her comment said that being married to Gayle has kept me young. In a way she’s right. Gayle and I do lots of things that my older relatives would have never considered. After all, at my age I should be “enjoying” retirement, whatever that means, not playing video games.
Since we’ve begun this website and the book on May December relationships I have learned a great deal about the truths and misconceptions surrounding age-gap couples. Many of these lessons are described elsewhere in our website. Many are yet to be written about.
The main lesson that I learn over and over is that relationships are seldom about age. They are about the love, compatibility and adaptability of the partners. Do you know many (almost) 66 year old men who are learning to play a Nintendo Wii? It appeared in the house as a 22nd anniversary present to us. I never considered that I would still enjoy competitive video games, but I do.
So what’s this May December Secret?
Aging is often a state of mind.
Think about that if you are considering an age gap relationship. The love, of course, is ageless. But how about energy levels? Interests? Sense of adventure? They are certainly important, regardless of your ages.
I believe successful May December relationships also provide something much different that what we are told. Most of the research wants us to believe they are about men and women looking for father or mother figures or having mid-life crises. That’s often true, but in my humble opinion they also provide the yin to our yang. I’ve learned to love museums and hiking, and feeling younger than my years is the norm.
So I may have to wrap my knee before I start, but I’ve found a very good source of the exercise I need. Playing an hour of tennis in the living room with Gayle is hard work. I even have to get off the couch. Our age differences once again are not an issue. Beating her at tennis is, though. And I will again, I think. If I don’t I’ll get that other controller and we’ll see who’s the best boxer!
November 23rd, 2010
Teen Life Q&A: Is the age difference between you too big?
Does age really matter, when is an age gap too big?
by Mike Hardcastle
for About.com
My boyfriend is 28 and I’m 16. My parents don’t approve, my friends think it’s creepy and his family says it’s disgusting but we’re in love. Am I crazy thinking love can conquer all or does age really matter? When is an age gap too big?
To say “he is X number of years older than you and that is too much older” is an oversimplification of a complex situation. In matters of the heart things don’t always make sense, timing isn’t always right and people are not always in the same age group. Large age differences can be overcome if people are at similar places in their lives. That said, when you are a teen and your partner is a full grown adult the chances that you are in similar places in your life are slim to none. Read entire article here.
Gayle’s Commentary
This article gives some practical advice that really makes sense. I know the article is aimed at teens, but we “adults” could benefit from what Mike has to say (just read between the lines a bit.) We know that no single formula always works when it comes to the right amount of age difference in a May December couple. I also know lots of people wish there was a rule. So if you want a rule, the only one you are going to get is the one legislated where you live. With that said, we also know that just because an age gap is legal doesn’t mean it is wise. There’s a lot of common sense in this article.
November 5th, 2010
What is MayDecemberSecrets?
May December Secrets is the first website of its kind devoted to couples in relationships with age differences. This website is full of tips, tricks, and tools to help you create a successful relationship in any season! Since we are a May December couple (married in 1986) and counselors in private practice (since 1990), we have lots of experience navigating the age gap. We are here to create a reservoir of practical information built from our personal and professional experience. We know you will find the content helpful regardless of the ages of you and your partner.
What will you find here?
- a collection of articles designed to help you create a loving and lasting relationship.
- an array of stories addressing the situations and concerns unique to May December couples.
- fresh content written each week to help you hone and practice your ever growing toolkit.
Who are we?
We have been married to each other since 1986 and have a 15 year age difference. Ron has 4 children, thus bestowing Gayle with 4 bonus children and 13 grandchildren. We also have 2 dogbabies. We love to travel (Paris anyone?), write, hike, bike, click pics and evidently rhyme! Our goal is to leave the world in better shape than when we found it.
In addition to 20+ years in private practice as psychotherapists, we know firsthand the benefits and challenges of the May-December dynamic. Our marriage has lasted over two decades. Our blend of therapeutic expertise and direct experience make us uniquely qualified age gap relationship experts. We share personal and professional secrets with you in this blog. In addition to making this information available to everyone in the WWW, we have a private counseling practice and are writing the definitive book on age gap relationships.
- Read more about their marriage.
- Read more about Ron.
- Read more about Gayle.
- Read more about our Media and Events.
Contact Us
972-313-2235 office
972-313-9844 fax
Our office is located in Irving, Texas 75061
There are also multitudes of ways to contact us electronically. Please feel free, we’d love to hear from you.
- Gayle’s Website
Ron and Gayle in Branson 2007
Ron and Gayle Spring 2008
“Pop” & Ian
“Gigi” & Emme
Us with the Vivian clan atop Mt. Washburn July 2008
The Dogbabies Christmas 2007
November 4th, 2010
Let’s just say it rhymes with sougar!
(Posted by Gayle)
I was reading a question on one of my favorite age gap relationship forums. I felt compelled to write the following post as a response to the question. If you read what I’ve written you’ll figure out what question to which I am responding. So hang in there it will all make sense, I just had to share it here!
I’d like to introduce you guys to my mom and my step-dad. Here is their picture. They had a 15 year age difference. The pic was taken in 1976. My father had died 5 years earlier leaving her a widow at the young age of 54. The age gap between my mom and dad was 8 DAYS. My mother died 5 years ago shortly before her 85th birthday and what would have been her 28th wedding anniversary with my step-father.
Now, 5 years later, my step-father enjoys dating a variety of women closer to his own age. We just celebrated his 76th birthday. I guess my mom was a cougar long before it was cool. Their 15 year age difference worked beautifully and was full and complete is EVERY way. The only problem they had is that sometimes HE had a hard time keeping up with her. I can hear her wonderful and much missed laugh as I type these words. She would have had a ball with the concept of being a “cougar.”.
I’m sorry I digressed, what was the question? Something about “what could he possibly see in a woman 18 years older who is his mother’s age”….