Because what you are saying is boring Because what I have to say is more important Because I’m an just an a..hole. Because I need help.

(Posted by Ron)

I’ve said before that I never really liked school.  It wasn’t that I did badly, at all.  I was simply bored.  I always had good grades and never seemed to have to work too hard for them.  I had several teachers, however, who were real pains in my … and were constantly after me to behave in class.  I would talk or squirm or just be a bit of a nuisance.  I can still hear Ms. Ward telling me to stop shaking my leg.  It made the entire room vibrate. Read the rest of this entry »

So many recurring problems in relationships boil down to our need to be right. It’s a universal problem with or without a significant age gap. I think the age difference just gives us another justification for our position. Statements such as “You don’t have as much experience as I” or “times have changed and you are stuck in the past” come to mind.

I would love to tell you it was my time spent as a counselor that taught me how to work with and resolve these issues, but I can’t. Most of what I learned was from the time I spent in counseling (both with and without Ron). I wish I’d learned some of the lessons sooner, but I’m grateful to have learned them at all.

I remember early in the relationship arguing with Ron about cleaning the house. I wanted more help. He began stepping up and making it happen, but I didn’t like the way he loaded the dishwasher. I don’t even remember what I thought he was doing wrong. I just remember complaining in a very condescending way and of course, he got angry. I didn’t think he was right (or had a right) to be angry. I thought he just needed to follow my directions. After all, he was a man so I knew more about washing dishes than he did!

I was getting what I wanted, but I wasn’t happy because I didn’t get it exactly as I wanted it. Every time I saw how he loaded the dishes it really teed me off. What was his problem? I was asking for something simple. “If you are going to help out and do the dishes, then do them the right way. After all, if you will just let me show you exactly what I want it won’t take you any longer. What’s the big deal?”

Dishes are just dishes. It’s not usually a life or death situation but committed relationships have ended over smaller things. It would be more clear cut in a real matter of life and death – wouldn’t it? Ponder that for a bit – there’s more on this subject tomorrow.

Image by qthomasbower via Flickr

May-Decembers and Brotherly Love

Posted by Gayle

Well the trek to Ron’s homeland is winding down.  The grandkids have been hugged goodbye, tears have been wiped away, the 50th reunion is over, and I’m sitting on a plane headed back to Big-D.  Ron’s driving home and will reunite with me tomorrow. Perhaps the most memorable part of the trip was lunch today with Ron’s brother (Big Brother) and his wife.  Big Brother is 13 years older than Ron.  Big Brother’s marriage of a zillion year’s ended shortly after their 94 year old father died in 2001.  Big Brother remarried in 2002 to a woman 20 years his junior.

When I joined their family in 1986, I wasn’t exactly welcomed with open arms.  I hung in there and it didn’t take too long to find my own niche in their family.   As the years went by, they realized I was there to stay because of my love for Ron.  Perhaps I paved the way for Big Brother’s wife.  I think she made her transition into the family seamlessly.

Lunch with them today was a joy and it made me silently giggle.  Big Brother and his wife don’t use computers much.  They don’t know what a blog is and we’ve never really mentioned May-December Secrets to them.  One thing I find comforting about being around Big Brother is that a I catch a glimpse of Ron in 13 years.  It’s not a bad glimpse to catch especially when I am sitting across from Big Brother’s wife who is only a few years older than me.  We were laughing about the “stubborn” gene both of these men inherited.  We “May’ wives took a little credit for knocking some of the rough corners off the brothers.  More laughter and a few knowing looks crossed the table.

Big brother and I have another thing in common.  Neither of us had children of our own, but we both became proud grandparents.  Today we did some grandparental bragging, compared medication lists, and achey joints, but all in all we just marveled at how well everyone was doing.

Love is good for us – I’m sure of it.  Today I was a reminded that soul mates don’t count the years or the circumstances between them.  They just find a way to be together in whatever way and whenever they can.

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• Love the Second Time Around (lifescript.com)
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Are we May-Decemberers really a snowballing trend?  We’d love to find some real statistics.  If you happen to have any lying around, please send us a message.  Intelligent articles on this top keep popping up.  Enjoy….

Debunking the “Half-your-age-plus-seven” Rule of Thumb

If you’re one of those people who stares scornfully from your park bench at that 21-year-old girl walking romantically with the 55-year-old man in the park (or maybe it’s the 55-year-old woman walking hand-in-hand with the 21-year-old college-age guy)–it’s probably a good idea not to show too much open disgust. It’s likely other people around you will give you a look of disgust in return for thinking there’s something wrong with it–on par with those who still have outdated racial or other biased issues with people. Maybe it’s Hollywood setting trends once again (however arguable how influential they really are in today’s times)–but those people who sacrificed scorn with getting into a relationship with someone much younger or older than they are likely helped other people who’ve perhaps thought about it but avoided the situation for their own good.

Read the whole article:  May-December Relationships and Marriages: A Snowballing Trend in America – Associated Content.

I love this!  If you are an Alchemist fan, you will to.  If not, you might become one.  We “MayDecemberers” have a special understanding of following our heart’s desire.  This little book is a wonderful fable.  I highly recommend it.

Gayle

via YouTube – The Alchemist Alquimista – Paulo Coelho quotes..