What?  (Posted by Ron)

OK, this is another post about our new favorite television show, Modern Family.  Jay, always the frugal December takes Gloria, the hot May to view two above ground crypts that are only three slots down from a famous gangster.  The young wife, Gloria, is not a bit ready to deal with death and refuses to have the discussion.  The subject of Gloria remarrying after Jay dies also comes up.  Of course they assume Jay will die first.  After all, he is the December.

Back at home, Jay gives Gloria an empty coffee can to use to keep his ashes on the mantle.  His ulterior motive is that the “putz” that Gloria marries will have to stare at his ashes.  Yes, Modern Family is a comedy, but it is one of the most popular television shows, indicating to me that Gayle and I aren’t the only ones interested in May-December relationships.

We often get questions about the risks a younger partner takes when entering into an age-gap relationship.  Who will die first?  Will the younger partner have to take care of an aging partner who can no longer care for him/herself?  These are definitely legitimate questions that should be examined.  Not, however, as Jay did by taking Gloria to a cemetery.

There will be no coffee cans on the mantle in the home of Ron and Gayle.  Many years ago we had conversations about our deaths and how we would handle burial.  We both came to the conclusion that cremation made sense and that we wished to have our ashes sent over the Lower Falls of the Yellowstone River, one of the most beautiful places on earth.  The ashes of our friend Fred and several of our beloved pets have already taken that trip.  (It’s not exactly legal, by the way.)  Our trust documents have instructions for our burial.

Planning makes sense in any relationship.  It’s really no more important in an age-gap relationship that one in which the partners are close in age.  There are no guarantees who will leave this life first.  We’ve also planned for care as we age.  Neither of us wishes to be an unnecessary burden on the other so we’ve had long-term care insurance for several years.

Modern Family is fun to watch.  It points out more problems that solutions, however, so you have to pick and choose what you take away from it.  I love watching it because in many ways it is a microcosm of our own lives.  There won’t be coffee cans for us, though.  The Lower Falls beckon.

I have no idea, but it made sense to Earnest, my alter ego, when he wrote this post in his blog:

(Posted by Ron)

Every now and then I like to bring in a post that was originally written by Earnest.  I try to pick the ones that actually fit the May-December subject.  Earnest’s reference to Andy Rooney in this and other of his posts fits the December aspect of our blog.  One of my few nods to aging is that my actions sometimes remind me of Andy Rooney.  As I’ve gotten older I believe I have gotten even more opinionated – or at least more willing to express them.  Here’s Earnest’s post.

I made this note one night when I was watching Letterman. I no longer remember the connection to Dave but that doesn’t matter. Did you know that Cracker Jacks were first sold at the World’s Columbian Exposition, Chicago’s first world fair, in 1893. Now, that statistic comes from the Cracker Jack website so it must be right. It wasn’t really marketed and trademarked as Cracker Jacks until 1896.

Did you know (sorry Elliot) that Cracker Jacks were immortalized in 1908 when Jack Norworth wrote the lyrics to “Take Me Out To The Ballgame?” Of course you all know the phrase “buy me some popcorn and Cracker Jacks” in that song.

Even I’m not old enough to remember when these things happened (I’ve heard John McCain may be, though.) Here’s what I do remember – OK, this is going to be an Andy Rooney moment.

When I was a kid Cracker Jacks came in a tightly sealed and waxed box. I can remember how difficult it was to tear through that waxed paper without a knife. Teeth just slid across the wax. The seal on the bottom of the box, where the toy was hidden, was even worse but the toy was worth the work to retrieve it. Now don’t get me wrong, I love Cracker Jacks, but the toys back then were the best (whatever they were.)

So, why is this going to be an Andy Rooney moment? Simple. Those marvelous toys of the past are gone. What do you get now? Something made out of paper. They aren’t toys, they are throwaways. I still eat Cracker Jacks but I surely don’t eat as many as when I was a kid. What’s the point? They are only candied popcorn and peanuts. Where are the toys of old (whatever they were?) What’s more, Cracker Jacks now come in bags! Where’s the challenge to opening them?

Only if the experiment is working

(Posted by Ron)

There was a time late in her life when my mom “took to her bed” as they say in West Virginia.  The last few years of her life were spent mostly in her bed due to a fall down a flight of stairs and other problems relative to her advanced age.  She died in her late eighties.

I remember sitting with her just talking and being together.  One thing struck me back then.  The table beside her bed looked like a pharmacy.  I have no idea what all of the pills were for.  But do know that she had high blood pressure,  high cholesterol, lots of pain from the fall, and swore she was never able to sleep.  I’m sure the pills treated those things and more.  More than once I had a thought that has stuck with me.  It was, “I will never allow myself to become someone’s chemistry lab.” Read the rest of this entry »

Lots, if you are lucky enough to have a classic partner

(Posted by Ron)

My son who has a degree in electrical engineering is back in college.  This time he’s studying the restoration of classic cars.  Yes, you can get such a degree.  If you’ve read my post about being a chemistry experiment you know that I have a cardiologist who seems to be restoring a classic Ron.

Have you seen the movie Gran Torino?  If not, I highly recommend it.  The 1972 Ford Gran Torino in the movie is beautiful.  The 78 year-old director and star, Clint Eastwood, is a classic in his own right. Read the rest of this entry »

(Age Gap relationships aren’t milk)

(Posted by Gayle)

It’s not exactly what went through my head that fateful day in the emergency room waiting area, but it’s close. In 2003 I wasn’t a blogger or a texter yet and I didn’t speak or think in acronyms.  Ron was having a stroke – literally.  And I was reliving age 14 and the day my father died… at home… alone with… me.

During the tedious and treacherous moments waiting to be called to Ron’s side, I was suddenly thinking that having a husband 15 years older than myself might not have been a great idea.  I think it was the first time our age gap scared me.  It wasn’t that I never thought about it before.  I just had never been so petrified of it. Read the rest of this entry »