rongayle November 27th, 2008
At least we don’t have to kill our Thanksgiving dinner.
(Posted by Ron)
My son and his family just arrived to spend Thanksgiving with us this weekend. They drove in from Kansas just for the holiday. It’s a lot different than my memories but I know we are creating our own memories. Traditions are not dependent on how Gayle and I spent our holidays. Yes, our traditions somehow get folded into Thanksgiving but the new ones work, too.
When I was growing up there were times when we went to my grandparents for Thanksgiving. Not often, but enough that I remember it. The men got up early and went hunting. Breakfast would then include the squirrels that were killed that morning. I know, some of you are cringing, but don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. It’s hard to beat squirrel gravy and freshly baked biscuits for breakfast.
Mostly, however, I remember all of my sisters and my brother showing up at mom and dad’s house for Thanksgiving. We had a great time with all of the siblings and cousins seeing each other again and we always ended Thanksgiving day full of turkey and dressing and pie and… Our food all came from the local grocer except for what dad had grown during the summer. We didn’t have to kill anything.
The women in the family went to the kitchen and began cleaning up after dinner. There was no dishwasher so cleaning up required a lot of soap, elbow grease, and catching up on what had happened in the family in the last year.
The men would take their coffee and smokes (yes, we still did) out to the front porch We would also catch up on the past year but it would be more about jobs and fishing and “manly” stuff. We would never get caught doing the dishes after dinner.
Thanksgiving with my grandparents was the way it was done in the 1940’s and 50’s. Thanksgiving at my parents’ house was the way it was done in the 1950’s and 60’s. Neither was unusual for the time. I’m sure there are still many places in this huge country of ours where one or both of those patterns still exist.
My kids were raised with as many of the family around the Thanksgiving dinner table as possible. As they grew older the patterns changed. We moved. Family members passed away. The world around us became faster and less connected. But the family still remains as the basis for the Thanksgiving celebration.
So here we are at Thanksgiving, 2008. Ron and Wendy and Ian and Emme just arrived from their home in Kansas. Tomorrow they and a few friends will join us for a meal that Gayle has literally worked on for at least a couple of weeks. We don’t have to kill anything - Kroger’s handled that for us. We just get to enjoy the time together.
When I was a child I never remember friends being part of our Thanksgiving. I love this new part or our tradition. I wish that all of our kids and grandkids could be with us but know they are having Thanksgiving with friends and family. The world is so different now. We are often so far apart.
We don’t eat together, but we call each other. The men clear tables and put dishes into the dishwasher (or wash if necessary). We all visit together. We have new traditions, but they still keep families together. The families are even different. Gayle and I are parent and step-parent. The kids accepted this new family structure years ago. The grandkids know us as Pop and Gigi and that is normal for them. It may be a smaller, differently structured group but it’s no less traditional.
So, however you are doing it and with whom, have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Tags: Age difference, age gap, Blending Families, May December Relationships, Parenting, turducken
