How can you ever know?

(Posted by Ron)

I read it on the forums.  I hear it from clients.  “He/she is older than me!  He/she will die and leave me alone.”  My comments are usually the same when these questions arise.  I believe the relationship is most important, not the age of the partners or when either of us might die.

I was watching Blade Runner again.  Yes, it’s 25 years old but, surprisingly, not terribly dated.  This time I heard Harrison Ford‘s Blade Runner character answer these questions in another way as he escaped with Rachel, the replicant (android) with whom he had fallen in love.  These were the last words in the movie.  As he knew he had made a life changing decision by leaving with her he said:

“I didn’t know how long we would have together.  Who does?”

OK, you might have to watch the movie again to understand the context.  However, I couldn’t say it any better about an age-gap or any other relationship.  We don’t know how long we will have together.  Should you really let that fear keep you out of an otherwise promising relationship? I know what the answer to the question is for me.  The question is do you know what the answer is for you?

Society may kick us to the curb, but we’ve got commitment down!

(Posted by Maya Sokolovski)

Today’s review deals with the article titled “Marginalized Relationships: The Impact of Social Disapproval on Romantic Relationship Commitment” by Justin J. Lehmiller and Christopher R. Agnew. It was published in 2006 in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. The article deals with marginalized relationships, composed of gay, lesbian, interracial, and, of course, age-gap. My focus will naturally be on the effects of social disapproval on age-gap unions, but much of what applies to them applies to the other marginalized relationships. Read the rest of this entry »