March 3rd, 2011
OK, this is another post about our new favorite television show, Modern Family. Jay, always the frugal December takes Gloria, the hot May to view two above ground crypts that are only three slots down from a famous gangster. The young wife, Gloria, is not a bit ready to deal with death and refuses to have the discussion. The subject of Gloria remarrying after Jay dies also comes up. Of course they assume Jay will die first. After all, he is the December.
Back at home, Jay gives Gloria an empty coffee can to use to keep his ashes on the mantle. His ulterior motive is that the “putz” that Gloria marries will have to stare at his ashes. Yes, Modern Family is a comedy, but it is one of the most popular television shows, indicating to me that Gayle and I aren’t the only ones interested in May-December relationships.
We often get questions about the risks a younger partner takes when entering into an age-gap relationship. Who will die first? Will the younger partner have to take care of an aging partner who can no longer care for him/herself? These are definitely legitimate questions that should be examined. Not, however, as Jay did by taking Gloria to a cemetery.
There will be no coffee cans on the mantle in the home of Ron and Gayle. Many years ago we had conversations about our deaths and how we would handle burial. We both came to the conclusion that cremation made sense and that we wished to have our ashes sent over the Lower Falls of the Yellowstone River, one of the most beautiful places on earth. The ashes of our friend Fred and several of our beloved pets have already taken that trip. (It’s not exactly legal, by the way.) Our trust documents have instructions for our burial.
Planning makes sense in any relationship. It’s really no more important in an age-gap relationship that one in which the partners are close in age. There are no guarantees who will leave this life first. We’ve also planned for care as we age. Neither of us wishes to be an unnecessary burden on the other so we’ve had long-term care insurance for several years.
Modern Family is fun to watch. It points out more problems that solutions, however, so you have to pick and choose what you take away from it. I love watching it because in many ways it is a microcosm of our own lives. There won’t be coffee cans for us, though. The Lower Falls beckon.











