Not if your wife is your “opponent.”

(Posted by Ron)

Is it fun to hit each other in the face?  It is if you are doing it via a WII (No, not W. W. II.  That’s wee, as in Nintendo).  We actually need another controller before we can “fight” each other, but weeee will Wii! This holiday we have bowled, played tennis, guitar and golf, all without leaving the living room.

My daughter commented on one of Gayle’s posts and part of her comment said that being married to Gayle has kept me young.  In a way she’s right.  Gayle and I do lots of things that my older relatives would have never considered.  After all, at my age I should be “enjoying” retirement, whatever that means, not playing video games.

Since we’ve begun this website and the book on May December relationships I have learned a great deal about the truths and misconceptions surrounding age-gap couples.  Many of these lessons are described elsewhere in our website.  Many are yet to be written about.

The main lesson that I learn over and over is that relationships are seldom about age.  They are about the love, compatibility and adaptability of the partners.  Do you know many (almost) 66 year old men who are learning to play a Nintendo Wii?  It appeared in the house as a 22nd anniversary present to us.  I never considered that I would still enjoy competitive video games, but I do.

So what’s this May December Secret?

Aging is often a state of mind.

Think about that if you are considering an age gap relationship.  The love, of course, is ageless.  But how about energy levels?  Interests?  Sense of adventure?  They are certainly important, regardless of your ages.

I believe successful May December relationships also provide something much different that what we are told.  Most of the research wants us to believe they are about men and women looking for father or mother figures or having mid-life crises.  That’s often true, but in my humble opinion they also provide the yin to our yang.  I’ve learned to love museums and hiking, and feeling younger than my years is the norm.

So I may have to wrap my knee before I start, but I’ve found a very good source of the exercise I need.  Playing an hour of tennis in the living room with Gayle is hard work.  I even have to get off the couch.  Our age differences once again are not an issue.  Beating her at tennis is, though.  And I will again, I think.  If I don’t I’ll get that other controller and we’ll see who’s the best boxer!

How to Put all the Seasons to Work in Your Relationship

Enjoy!

By Rosie Mortimer
Last updated at 10:05 PM on 09th August 2008

I am 24 and have recently become engaged to a 41-year-old man. But guess what? I’m not after his money and he’s not going through a mid-life crisis.  A lot of people seem to see an age gap of almost two decades as potentially problematic. In fact, it’s just the opposite.  Read the whole story here.

Gayle’s Commentary

I too come from a family with May December marriages, they were second marriages and they were lasting.  My grandfather married my “step-grandmother”  (step didn’t mean anything to me when I was little) when my mom was 4.  They had an age gap of roughly 20 years.  My grandmommy was 17 when my grandaddy swept her off her feet.  My mom’s parents had divorced a year earlier in 1920.  My dad died when I was 14.  He and my mom were both 54 when he died.  Four years later my mother married my step-father.  He was 15 years younger than her.  You can read more about them in my post “My Mom is What Kind of Cat?!” Read the rest of this entry »

Allrighty then, shall we talk about ED (as in Bob Dole and Viva Viagra – not the talking horse Mr. Ed)? Katie Couric made history having her colonoscopy filmed to help people get comfortable with discussing colons. So we’re going to plunge into the topic of erectile dysfunction (ED) right here right now.  Let’s get blogging!

Read the rest of this entry »

Thankfully I was never very good at math.
Posted by Ron

OK, I don’t really remember all of these years flying by but they certainly have.  I leave tomorrow to return to my “ancestral” home of Kenova, WV.  Why?  To attend my 50th high school reunion.  50th!  The last one I attended was the 10th and that seemed to be just a few years ago. This week Gayle I were at  a private dance lesson.  I never danced when I was in high school.  So I decided to change that for my reunion.  Our lovely teacher  could not believe I was old enough to be attending the 50th anniversary of my graduation from high school.  It was funny to watch her add up the numbers in her head.  I know I can barely add them myself anymore!  I can only thank her for noticing what seems obvious to me.  I’m too young to be attending a 50th anything!  Well, they say 60 is the new 40.  I hope that’s true.  Does that make 70 the new 50?  We’ll see in a couple of years.

There are a lot of numbers in that first paragraph.  Back to the real math, however.  Gayle is almost 15 years younger than me.  Why else would we be writing a May-December blog?  Here’s the frightening part!  As I was walking across the stage in that dark old auditorium at C-K High School, Gayle was not quite 4 years old!  Do the math, people!  That is definitely scarey!  So let’s check some chronological high points, keeping in mind the 15 year difference in our ages never changes.

1960 – I graduate from high school.  Gayle is being spoiled by her doting parents in Chicago.

1969 –   I graduate from college and have three children.  Gayle is still in Chicago and will be 12 in a few months.

1972 – Gayle’s dad has passed away at the age of 54 (less than two weeks age difference between him and her mother.)  Gayle and Goldie move to Dallas from Chicago.  I have just joined Gulf Oil in Pittsburgh, PA and am well on my way to a career in oil.  Gayle will soon be 15.

1981 – I move to Dallas and meet Gayle at the oil company where we both now work.  She is married and will soon be 24.  It was instant dislike on her part, by the way.  After all, I was “replacing” the boss they all loved.

1986 – In the years since 1981, I moved to Kansas City and a new oil company, left that company, and returned to Dallas.  It is November and Gayle and I have reconnected and are now getting married.  She must have overcome her dislike of me, although sometimes I’m not positive about that!

Now, skip forward to today.  June 20, 2010.  It’s almost exactly 50 years since I walked across that high school stage and Gayle and I will soon be married 24 years.  That’s another amazing mathematical fact since those years also seem to have been a blur.  I’m preparing to reunite with people I haven’t seen for 40 or 50 years.  I believe Gayle will be a surprise to them.  As I look at her sometimes she surprises me.  How on earth could I be lucky enough, and justify, being married to a woman who was 3 and a half years old when I last saw many of the people who will attend the reunion?  Like I said, I was lucky!  We waited until the age difference was no longer an issue (to us at least) and here we are, almost 24 years later.

Stay tuned. We will be posting and photo blogging as we walk down this long memory lane.  There will also be an intermediate stop in Kentucky to visit with 2 of our 4 kids and 8 of our 13 grandkids.  Aren’t numbers wonderful?