Is an age gap relationship right for you?
November 5th, 2010
Allrighty then, shall we talk about ED (as in Bob Dole and Viva Viagra – not the talking horse Mr. Ed)? Katie Couric made history having her colonoscopy filmed to help people get comfortable with discussing colons. So we’re going to plunge into the topic of erectile dysfunction (ED) right here right now. Let’s get blogging!
October 24th, 2010
My first wife and I married when I was 18. My parents didn’t have a great deal of advanced notice. I was home from Navy boot camp when she and I decided to marry during my two week leave. I can recall my mother following me from the front porch to the card yelling that I was not getting married. I was too young!
My ex and I were married almost a quarter century. In that period of time my mother and the rest of my family took her into the family without reservation. Needless to say our divorce did not sit well with them.
When we separated and I began the divorce proceedings I called my parents to tell them. Although I was no longer a child mom continued to think of me that way. She told me that I needed to make my marriage work and “forget this divorce foolishness.”
Later, when I told her I was divorced and planned to marry Gayle she said, “she’s only after your big check.” She didn’t even mention the age difference.
Personal boundaries never existed in my family of origin. Mom and dad felt we kids should always toe their line. If we didn’t, we heard about it a lot, primarily from mom. When one of us put our foot down and did what we wanted, mom often complained to all of the other siblings. Everyone always knew what and whom mom was angry about. I knew I was destined to hear a lot from her about my new marriage, but I also knew I was going to keep my boundaries with my family secure.
Mom wasn’t worried that I was 15 years older than Gayle. She wasn’t interested in the size of Gayle’s check. She simply didn’t want to deal with the first divorce in our family. She wanted things to continue the way she wanted them to be. She wasn’t a bad person, she was just scared and confused about the future.
Finally, when she knew she had lost, she brought out the big guns. “Ronnie”, she said, “you can never bring that woman into my home.” That took me by surprise. I had not expected my family to immediately welcome Gayle with open arms. However, I certainly hadn’t expected her to be barred from my home. This was the beginning of major changes in my relationship with my mother. My response to the woman who had borne me and whom I knew loved me dearly was simple and direct. “Mom, she’s my wife and if she’s not welcome in your home then neither am I. I suppose we have seen each other for the last time in this life.”
She didn’t believe me, of course, and continued to ask when I was coming home to see them. I continued to emphasize that I could not come home alone. This continued through the Christmas holiday season. On Christmas day I made a call to mom and dad, as I always did. As usual since my divorce our conversations were uncomfortable. Dad spoke for only a few minutes, as was his usual pattern. Mom and I talked a little longer but I was finally able to begin bringing the conversation to a close. As I told mom goodbye and gave her my love I heard her say something that was totally unexpected. She said, “let me talk to Gayle.”
March 10th, 2010
Step right up and enjoy the (slide) show!
Posted by Gayle
A picture is worth a thousand words right? Well here are 24 pictures you’ll have fun perusing!
If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you know I have mixed emotions about our fascination with Hollywood’s version of May-December romances. Few of us can relate to Demi Moore or the late Anna Nicole Smith. When it comes to navigating our daily lives their role models might not provide much help. However, the famous couples do remind us that love knows no age.
Last night I was listening to Delilah’s radio show. A man called in a dedication for his fiancee who happened to be 20 years his senior. Delilah’s words of wisdom were to skip paying attention to the age difference and just make sure they were both in the same place in their lives. If you are just winding up and ready to travel the world and your partner is looking forward to staying home and gardening it won’t matter what your ages are. Life stage compatibility could be a problem.
And now…. on with the show! I think you’ll enjoy this photo gallery. I know I did.
February 23rd, 2010
Oh yeah!!! Did she read my mind?!
Posted by Gayle
Ladies no matter what the age of your partner, please read this article. I love it! She’ll make you laugh, but she’ll leave you thinking. Ron and I are in our 24th year of marriage. I can barely remember my life before him. At night I pray I won’t have learn how to deal with life without him, but the truth is I may (just as he might have to figure out how to manage without me.) What’s funny to think about is that after all these years as “the younger woman” I could end up being a cougar and goodness only knows Ron might end up as a boy toy or “cub” for some sexy Sophia Loren-like diva. No worries. I’m not going to spend any more time fretting about a future I can’t control. What I do hope is that we can go ahead and get all this “cougar” stuff out of our system. Let’s get back to the business of celebrating loving relationships between two people. Really no matter what you call the partners, there just can’t be too much love.
February 22nd, 2010
Manther, Silver Fox, Lizard, Dingo, Shark.
A rose by any other name is still a rose!
Posted by Gayle
This article is just downright cute…. that is if you choose to not take yourself too seriously and just enjoy the irony of life. Now that the moniker “cougar” has become a part of pop culture it seems we’re desperate to give older men a name too. I chuckle about all of this, but truly I wonder why we just can’t call him “him” and call her “her”. In a day and age where we are so worried about political correctness how is it okay for us to hang labels on people based on the age of their partner? I’m really not trying to get radical here. I just find it damned ironic. The good no, great news is that articles about May-December (uh oh, I’m guilty of it too aren’t I?!) relationships are popping up on the internet faster than I can post them.
So please read the article below with a light heart and let it give you a giggle. You’ll also note that the piece links you to many other May-December tidbits.