I guess being in water up to my knees, after midnight and with the temperature below freezing was just too much:

(Posted by Ron)

It was a real shock to leave the relative excitement and security of my Navy job and return to West Virginia with a family and no skills that translated back to civilian life. My father-in-law helped me get a job with Ashland Oil, the company at which he had an executive position. It didn’t pay much and I soon found a better paying job as a laborer in the refinery. That lasted until I discovered I hated working in water and cold weather at night. I decided to try college again and was able to get one of the two jobs at the refinery that were designed to help students go to school by providing flexible work scheduling. Read the rest of this entry »

OK, Now for the Big Defining Moment (Yes, the Marriage):

(Posted by Ron)

It was extremely important to me for Gayle to attend the seminar.  I certainly didn’t help make that easier.  Even though we had been warned against it, I reported to her each night about everything I was going through.  As a result, she would have no part of it.  I decided to back off.  I did get to spend several fun hours as one of the volunteers that assisted in the programs over the next couple of months.  I wanted more, though.

On November 22, 1986 Gayle and I were married. Read the rest of this entry »

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I don’t talk about things like that:

(Posted by Ron)

I finally realized the oil business was not for me.  In 1984 I interviewed with a gentleman for a position as VP of Finance at the investment company he owned.  Little did I know how big this defining moment was going to be in my life.  After being hired I found working for him to be fun and exciting.  He was a financially successful man who thrived on risk and opportunities.   Over the four years I was there I traveled, of course, and sadly, it was during that time that my marriage finally ended.

Gayle and I had reconnected after I returned to Dallas and were now in a relationship.  In fact we were seriously considering marriage.  The fact that she was 15 years younger than me just didn’t seem important to either of us.  During this time my boss and his wife attended a personal development workshop and he came back to the office convinced that all of his employees should attend.  He called me into his office and asked if I would trust him enough to attend without knowing the subject.  He would pay for it and give me the time off to attend.  Well, I was nobody’s fool.  If my boss wanted me to do something like this and was paying; of course I would go.  I remembered my experience with the career counselor in the Navy.  Now was not the time to say no.

In August 1986 I went to a local hotel on Friday night with my briefcase, notepads, and my shirt and tie.  I was ready for an intense business workshop.  It was then known as YOU Seminars.  I didn’t know who he was at the time but YOU was owned by Dr. Phil McGraw and another Clinical Psychologist who presented the workshops in Dallas.  It was certainly not a business workshop!  When I walked in and saw everyone dressed in black with frowns on their faces I realized I might have made a mistake in coming.

A few minutes later I knew I was in the wrong place.  YOU Seminars was one of the psychologically based, self development seminars that were popular in the 1980’s and 1990’s.  In that first weekend I was angrier than I had been in a very long time.  How dare they delve into my personal life and refuse to let me avoid participation!  I wasn’t a quitter, though, so I decided to stick it out until Sunday night.  I certainly had no intention of returning for the second session that began 10 days later.

My boss was kind (and cagey) about it and did not push.  He did encourage me to return, though.  For some reason during those 10 days I decided I was going to finish what I had started and this time it was my decision.  I walked out of the second session on Sunday night a different man.  Not only had I experienced phenomenal personal growth, but also had seen what I considered to be miracles in others.  I was hooked.

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I’m an Oil Man again:

(Posted by Ron)

I told the partner for whom I worked that I wanted to leave Price-Waterhouse.  He was the senior partner on the Gulf Oil audit and immediately sent me to meet the corporation’s Audit Director.  He and I got along very well and I soon joined Gulf as one of four “Corporate Auditors.”  Ours was a unique group.  We rarely did financial audits. Instead, we were an operations audit group.  As such, our area of responsibility was the entire worldwide Gulf Oil corporate entity.  I later learned that one of the reasons they hired me was because of my Chinese language skills.  Who would’a thought?

During the next four years I traveled the world.  I was sent on audits in Singapore because of my Chinese Language skills.  On the way home I stopped off in London.  I traveled throughout Asia, the US and Central America.  I spent more time traveling than at home.  While in Asia I was away from home for more than seven weeks without returning.  I was having fun, was successful, and my marriage was getting even worse.

After five years, another defining moment came along.  I applied for a senior management position with an independent oil company that was headquartered in Springfield, Massachusetts.  The company was owned by a man with a reputation for firing executives on a moment’s notice.  I went there as the Controller with a six month employment guarantee and survived four years, rising to the position of Vice President of Finance before escaping.

Our main operations were in New Orleans, Louisiana and Houston and Laredo, Texas, not Massachusetts.  I spent most of my first two years in those cities, returning to Massachusetts for a few days or weeks at a time.  Finally I moved the family once again.  This time we moved to a New Orleans suburb and were there another two years.  Next I took a job in Dallas and moved the family here.  It was the last move we made as a family.  These were troubled times in the oil industry and in the next three years I worked for two different companies, one of which was in Kansas City.   At the first of these companies I met the woman who would become my “May” several years later.

We’re getting closer. It won’t be long till May meets December. Stay tuned. Don’t want to miss a word? Subscribe to our RSS feed now.

We’re getting closer. It won’t be long till May meets December.   Stay tuned. Don’t want to miss a word?  Subscribe to our blog now.

Know somebody in relationship with an age difference? Or someone who could benefit from relationship tips, tricks, and tools?

Some secrets are meant to be shared!

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Read Part 1 of Ron’s Story
Read Part 2 of Ron’s Story
Read Part 3 of Ron’s Story
Read Part 4 of Ron’s StoryRead Part 1 of Gayle’s Story
Read Part 2 of Gayle’s Story
Read Part 2a of Gayle’s Story
Read Part 2b of Gayle’s Story
Read Part 2c of Gayle’s Story